Monday, August 12, 2013

The DIY that Tried to Kill Me - A Monday "Meh"de It & Teacher Week '13

Admittedly, I am a Pinterest-a-holic.  And somehow in my many pinning travels I saw something about making your own wikki stix.  And why I got all into the idea I do not know.  My kids used wikki stix, maybe one time last year, and then I got all bunched up about it because one of them fell on the floor and got mushed in.  And should I have gotten upset?  No.  The floor is tile.  Who gives a cranky?  It'll come off.  But noooo- I put away the stix like they were Kinder-eggs attempting to be smuggled over the Canadian line.  And then this summer I got to thinking about maybe using them again.  So I went a hunting through blogland and found many, many, many BASIC instructions.  And I say basic because pretty much they only give the ingredients. It seemed that all you needed was a bit of the following:
Yarn, paraffin wax, a wax toilet bowl ring (yeah, weird).  I added in scissors and a ruler- because sometimes I am THAT way.  I wrapped the yarn along the ruler end-to-end so I could cut a bunch of 12-inch strands in one silly go.  Apparently, you can't use just paraffin (of which I have 18 million boxes for some unknown reason) or your stick would snap like a sad, sickly birthday candle.  You combine the paraffin with the wax toilet ring because it is waxy, and yet moldable.  So it makes your stick all bendy fun.  Personally, I didn't enjoy the odor of the toilet wax ring, but it disappeared after I melted them together.  Which is where I got really special and nearly killed myself.

18 million boxes of paraffin, but no double boiler.  Go figure.  So I invented my own.  What could possibly go wrong in that scenario?  Glass bowl floating in boiling water of great big metal pot.  Clearly, I was choosing to not make any connection to the fact that I had busted a glass lid the other day.  Again, that mean I be special.  Anyhow- boil boil boil. Melt melt melt.  Stir stir stir.  Remove black lining from toilet wax ring and chuck it.  Then, ever so gingerly go to remove glass bowl from big metal pot and have boiling water ERUPT as if from Vesuvius and burn my face.  Snort and snarf all you want, kittens, but I'm going to say it- damn did it hurt.  And also manage to pretty much ruin my mood for making these stupid stix.

An HOUR later I have four wax paper sheets of drying yarn strings. I guess there's about 100 there.  My fingers are coated in a weird wax mess.  My face pulses.  And my lovely daughter Squirt meanders on over, pokes at one of them and says "What do they do?" Shiiiii-oooot, I don't know! (Yeppers, I'm running for mother of the year- don't forget to vote!) Huff huff huff. "What's wrong with your face?" I burnt it, ok? "Hmmmmmm.  Ma?" WHAT? "Why don't you just buy these things?" !#$%^&&*()@

 Yes, America.  Go BUY THEM.  Almost 500 stix for $30 and you won't burn off your face.

My apologies to the true fans of Monday Made It to be so disappointing in my DIY tom-foolery.  I will try to make up for it next week. To read about REAL projects that were successful, or brag about your own, please go see Tara at 4th Grade Frolics.
I hate to leave you on that note however.  I saw this cute linky today and decided I too would like to talk endlessly about myself.  Because that's my thing.  This one is being hosted by Blog Hoppin', and they have a whole week of fun planned.  Go check it out!

Without further ado- here are 10 weirdo fantastic facts about me- that I haven't gotten around to mentioning before for some reason...
1. As sarcastic as I can tend to be- I am a horrible push-over mush.  I left my two-year old for the first time this morning with a babysitter that was NOT my mother and I cried for the first forty miles down the road.  Even though my friend was gracious to text me pictures of his giggling smiling happy face every few miles.  Turns out I was more traumatized by the event than he was.
2. I think I enjoy the kid's Netflix TV more than they do.  Current passions:
extremely catchy theme song

Ponty Pandy is so much fun to say!

3.  I video taped myself teaching once, because I really wanted to be able to critique the video and look for my teaching strengths and weaknesses, but all I could think about while watching it was "Are they really seeing my big butt like that all day?  How often do I turn my back to them when I'm teaching?  Seriously- they are staring at the back of an elephant"  I have no idea what lesson I even taped.
4. Sometimes I miss Prell Shampoo. I used to hide out in the bathroom when I was younger and pretend in the mirror that I was in a Prell commercial.  I also used to try to mix Caladryl lotion with Elmer's glue to make peel off android skin- so yeah.  Think about that for a bit.
5.  I have a hard time resisting funny shaped erasers.  But then if I get them, I can't make myself erase anything with them, because it would mess them up. So then it's just a hoard.  I have the same problem with sharpening fancy pencils, or using scrapbook paper. I apparently do not have this same problem with cookies...
6. I can't stand it when my legs touch when I'm sleeping- so I have to wear pajamas.  And I can't wear socks if I'm sleeping, and I have to have my whole body covered up with a blanket except my face because I want to be warm but breathing cold air.  Therefore, it's probably a good thing that I'm single...
7.  My recurring nightmares when it comes to school stress is always a triple whammy combo of:
- No matter what I do, the kids won't listen
- I'm never fully dressed, I'm always missing my shirt, but never notice until half-way through the school day
- And I can't find a bathroom with the appropriate amount of privacy, whether it be a stall door that is too high or too low or not there at all
8. I miss my therapist...
9. I miss having stamps that you had to lick to put on envelopes.
10. Sometimes I think I should have never graduated college, just kept being a perpetual student.  But then, I'd be that weird creepy lady in ceramics class, and that's no good.

Five am wake up call again tomorrow... Sweet dreams everybody!
post signature


  1. Your post was a blast to read! When I left my children to go back to school, I felt like the worst mom ever. Everything always turned out just fine and they were always happy just like your son! Children are amazing!

    An Apple a Day in First Grade

  2. I was giggling throughout your entire post, missy.. So funny!! I still can't wrap my head around the do-it-yourself mask involving caladryl lotion though. That must have been quite the scene! You are too funny!
    Fifth Grade Ramblings

  3. What a great post! I so enjoyed your post during our VA Blogger Hop, and when I saw your tag on Fourth Grade Frolics, I clicked right on it. You are one funny lady, and I will never make my own wikki sticks. OMG! Hope your kiddos love them!
    Comprehension Connection

  4. first time reading your blog and I love it. Pretty soon you will feel worse when your child cries because you don't take them to the sitter so they can play with their Every snow day they would be mad if I was home! Just think of all the countless people you have saved from wiki stick trauma!

  5. first time reading your blog and I love it. Pretty soon you will feel worse when your child cries because you don't take them to the sitter so they can play with their Every snow day they would be mad if I was home! Just think of all the countless people you have saved from wiki stick trauma!

  6. Hope those kids really appreciate the wiki sticks. And their teacher.