County Fair Math - The Meek Moose Rides a Mechanical Bull and Other Adventures

You know that one part of the Katy Perry "Dark Horse" song where Juicy J is rapping his heart out about how she rode him like a roller coaster and turned her bedroom into a "fur".  Yes- it sounds like FUR.  But, apparently, he means fair.  Which makes more sense than fur.  But still.  Forcing the rhyme, methinks.

I also think Aloe Blacc sounds like he's saying "lift your spirits, and toasted cheese".  Enunciate people. ENUNCIATE.

Love both songs and artists though. No need to throw tomatoes.

So anyway- I went to the "fur" before school started.  It was awesome!  Rode the zipper three times and even the mechanical bull!  On the first ride, however, I had to come face to face with math in real life.  So let's begin.

Click picture to visit the linky at Miss Math Dork!

Now- this County Fair is by no means large.  So when I say the roller coaster broke down- I was not a million feet up in the air. I might have been twenty.  I don't think I would have died falling off.  Just maybe, broken an ankle or something.  Still though.  Breaking down at the tippy top point just before the "plunge" is not the greatest feeling in the world.



How the engineering of roller coasters actually work- I have no idea. Wouldn't be a bad idea to get the kids to find out for me though- wouldn't it?  After I stopped filming- the guy ended up climbing up and pulling the front of the car forward, and momentum took us back to the landing zone.  I decided not to try the roller coaster again.  I did see them working on it later though.  They'd loaded up the cart with four of the largest men I have ever seen.

That led me to believe weight has something to do with it. And therefore, it is a complete validation of all the weight I lost.  #skinnybitch

Weight played a big part in the zipper ride as well.  You know the zipper, right?  Cages of death that spin?  Yessssss.

I rode it the first time with my oldest son.  He has moderately severe autism.  But he loves a good ride.  Try as I might, I could not get that cage to spin around.  And he would have loved it, had I managed it.  All the same, we both cackled the entire ride.

I then forced my ten year old daughter.  I said- "Let's have a mother-daughter memory."  She screamed that she was going to die, and cried deep scarred childhood trauma tears. It will come up in future therapy sessions when she becomes an adult, I am sure.  One of the sentences she kept screaming was how this was not a memory she wanted.  And how she was going to die.  And how it was all my fault.  We spun a bit.  Turned out the lighter the load the easier it goes around.  I hadn't thought that through...  Anyhow, I am always in the running for Mother of the Year.  Vote early and often, folks.

Third time through grabbed my sister.  I decided that we wouldn't spin much.  However, the ride operator was very impressed that I was going through a third time in a row.  He also apparently noticed that there weren't any nervous children on the ride this time.  Turns out- when the ride goes three times faster than normal, this compensates for the weight issue and you spin EVEN MORE!!!  I am thankful to have not given in to the lure of a fair corndog, and my stomach remained intact.  I screamed with delight the whole ride.

Weight is also a big deal over in the livestock barns.  All of these animals are on show and are judged in a number of different stats.  I saw so many families who had seating arrangements with their animals.  It really made me think about how much time is put into this.  Not only the time to raise the animals, but the schedules of feeding and caring for, and watching over them at the fair.  All in the hopes of getting a ribbon and also making some money during the animal auction phase of the fair.

I'm not sure I could ever do the whole process myself.  I'd hate to have spent all that time with an animal and then have to sell it off.  I'd cry for sure.

Money, of course, huge issue at the fair.  Between paying for armbands for five people, and feeding five people - $140 was laid out.  And we didn't even have to pay for parking, because we got there early.  Had we been ten minutes later though- the total would have gone UP.  Even though I went on an overcast day with intermittent sprinkling showers- plenty of people still turned out for the fair.  It wasn't crowded- but that place still made bank.

Notice that most things are priced at $5.  This was noticeable all over the fair.  And I know the reason.  Everyone only takes cash- and a five is easy to hand over, skip count by, and not have to give change for.  Financial robbers geniuses, they are.  It was dang good food though...

Games at the fair are all based on force, motion, kinetic and potential energy.  It's a smorgus of science going on down at the midway.  And also probability and chance.  The rest of the kiddie rides - lots of simple machines and magnetic force.  It gave me lots to think about. The kids enjoyed it all- and Boyzilla especially, as it was his first time.  The only ride he didn't enjoy was the Tilt-a-whirlish one called Dizzy Dragons.  Here, you can see the excitement change to "What the holy hell?".  My sister knows how to catch a memory on camera.

For those of you that have been following the blog, but not the FB page.  Court turned out well.  Justice prevailed and will not be changing her mind.  Thank you everyone, for your prayers and well wishes. All is well in the world.

I leave you with the much anticipated mechanical bull ride.  If I win the lottery ever, I think I will buy one so I can practice. Yeehaw!

The Art of Photography ~ The Meek Moose Has (more) Issues

So, I've gotten a little nutty about taking pictures.  So nutty, in fact, that this happened.

I was trying to take a picture of a bug egg casing made by insect spit.  True story.  I am THAT geeky.  #flythatfreakflaghigh However, after the near death thing a couple months ago, I seem to have some lasting nerve damage in my hands.  One shakes all the time, the other lets go of stuff without permission.  I should have grabbed the phone with the shaky hand and just had a blurred egg sack. Or just gotten one off the internet, like this one:

Linked to the photgrapher's site- AMAZING PICTURES on his site. Beautiful work.

And you know what?  here's another way TV has ruined reality- CHUCK.

Cougar Crush. Needs a haircut though.

If I had gone in to Buy More, Chuck would have fixed my phone for me.  I know he would have.  That's not real life though.  Those folks at the "real" establishment won't help you unless you are a member of their service plan.  But whatever- they sent me to another place that had the phone fixed in an hour.  So suck it corporate America! The very handsome man from Korea will forever get my business! Although, I'm really hoping NOT to break my phone again.  But I'm ME- so who knows? This shall not curb my enthusiasm for taking pictures.  Which, by the way, you can see a lot more of, and much more frequently if you follow me on Instagram or my Face book page- just sayin'.  There are links at the top of the page, kittens. It turns out- I am a gifted Chicken Photographer.  It's a thing now.  I just made it one.  Here are my lovely ladies, Peep and Ruby.

It's the Charlie's Angels Diva pose.  Natural runway modes, these girls.  Notice the foot forward on Ruby.  She knows how to work it! Ok, yeah, Peep is looking awkwardly ugly right now- but that's what makes her cute.  I'm sure she'll feather in nicely. *fingers crossed* #uglyducklingsyndrome But the versatility! Here is Peep in her full on Velociraptor:

It's like she's about to charge. Awesome Sauce. I should make a calendar, I should.  Or greeting cards.  It's a toss up.

I also feel pretty good about this one I got of my new Betta.  Not as much of a natural as the chickens though. And glory be!  The blueberries are in full force this year!  I think it's all the rain we've gotten.  Tomatoes- not so much- as you can see the one lonely one in the bowl there.  But we picked TWO of these bowls worth of blueberries.  And there's more ripening.  Blueberries forevah!  I'm wanting muffins...and pankcakes...and blueberry syrup. Mmmmmmmmmm.

On the selfie-front- I'm not talented.  It might also be because I'm more of a "natural environment" photographer- and the best selfies are taken in the bathroom.  With cords and towels, and toilet paper in the background.  And that's just not my thing.

This here is much more my style.  The suffering of the human condition.  Ninety degree summer, fifty degree basement.  I've slept in my moose hat, velour track suit pants, and a fuzzy cookie monster sweater all week. With the electric blanket on high- I might add. #teachersrockthebestlingerie It's a real mystery as to why I'm single, I know.

I'll leave you with two of my video productions.  The first, a fluff feel-good piece on the man who raised me. His triumphant fixing of the plastic bear arms that embrace my iPad sweetly when I don't have my shaking paws on it.

And the second, my debut as the next Bill Nye.  It's EPIC, I tell you. An egg dissection #fail. I get splattered with egg juice and manage to freak myself out enough to squeal like a #scaredycat. The faces of horror my daughter make in the background, and the wandering in and out of my near-nudist three year old make this Golden Globe material.
Overall, I'm pleased with my finely manicured fingernails in this clip.  And also that I don't seem like I'm "acting".  I was definitely relaxed enough to be the real me.  Yep- I'm that awesome.  The face of The Meek Moose revealed!
Hey- I linked up with Miss Nelson's Saturday Snapshots Linky.  And you should too!

Don't forget the flash, kittens!

I Put the "PRO" in Procrastination ~ A Meek Moose Adventure in Put-er-Off-ery

This is what I'm supposed to be doing right now:

I don't wanna.

And I should have made my bed too.  But I'll be going to bed soon, so now I'm all "meh".

My first week back to work I spent in the Library.  Doing This:

54 times.  

I only have 24 students.  

I wasn't going "up" a level all those other times either.

I finally got back into the room Friday afternoon.  Do you know what Friday afternoon was?  Full moon.  Friday the 13th. Rolling Thunderstorms that make eight year old barometers stand up and say, "Boy, Howdy! How can we be louder?"

Know what I had to do?

Make them silently write out an Opinion piece for 45 minutes.  During the Storm.  Yes.  that is a chicken in a bird nest on the floor.  I'll get to that in a minute.

And can you guess what I became yesterday?  YES INDEEDY! A Disciple of GoNoodle.

It's fuzzy because he's dancing.  My Man here NEVER dances.  He loved GoNoodle.

Get down!

Shake It, Sister!

Saved my life, it did. Even I, yes, I, who can't stand to jiggle or sweat- Ran Like a Kitty.  Don't get it?  Sign Up for GoNoode RIGHT.NOW. and watch Run Like A Kitty.  Why are you still reading this?  I said go sign up NOW!!!  But come back!  I have more nonsense to share.

I got lots and lots of cards and drawings from my kids when I returned though.

Yes.  I "fell" better. Obviously, word work is going to be more of a focus next year. Professional reflection is good.  But look at those Moose! They know me so well!  And I'm the best techere! (except when it comes to spelling) And they do call me Mommy.  All the time.  At first it was a bit weird.  But now it's fine.  It's funny.  They know I love them like they are my own.

The first two days back I brought Peep with me, and let the kids hold her before they did their reading test.  Except my lovely here:

She asked to hold Peep for the entire test, said it made her "think better".  And considering she was THE ONLY ONE that I did "go up a level" when testing, I think Peep did her magic.   I'm going to miss this sweetie.  When she came to me in September she was full-on Susan Lucci Soap Opera Queen tears at everything. This had apparently been the status quo in first grade as well.  By October I had her using calm down strategies.  She now "composes" herself when she's upset and needs to talk to me.  "Give me a minute!" She'll say,throwing her arms out, and then do breathing exercises and wipe her face. Then she looks at me, like Marilyn Monroe ready for a close-up and says, "I AM calm, now."  It's still Susan Lucci.  But at least it's not blubbery.  I do not do tears.  I just don't. Peep became unbearably cold the second day however.  And hid in my hair most of the day. Yes.  My hair. Now that it's permed (not the best idea I ever had) it is the perfect consistency of "nest". I left her at home for the rest of the week.  Under her heat lamp. Diva. This morning I bought her a friend.

This is Ruby.  A Russian Orloff. Or something like that.  She's Russian something.  Hey!  I just joined the Pet Chickens of Virginia.  It's not like I'm a expert yet. Yes, that's right. Pet Chickens of Virginia.   Virginia is for chicken lovers. Shit just got serious, kittens.

Anyway- this was Peep's reaction:

Not exactly a good sign. #introvertchick
How DO you get two chicks to bond? Throw 'em in a box, take 'em for a drive! #Thelma&Louise

To be fair, Peep has never seen another chicken.  She was a lone hatcher. There's a picture book in there somewhere.

They are doing better now.

 Peep is less peepy- I've noticed.  She did follow me about the classroom today though- petrified of Ruby.  I tried to let her perch on my shoulder- but I was doing so much lifting and packing she kept sliding off. 

I went to school today so my Dad and my oldest son could take some furniture that I'm not allowed to store over the summer (and I don't want to bring it back in September anyway) home for me. And then Karen (FlamingoFabulous) and my sister came to help me do some sorting and packing and taking down of wall stuff so I would be in a much better placce to pack up the room on Thursday.  At two o'clock.  When the kids leave.  And then I have to be checked out by four. Yep.  A two hour pack up time. As if.  I'll be there Friday I'm sure.

They helped loads.  I'm actually in really good shape.  It's possible that I might be able to check out Thursday- but I'm not going to stress over it.  

A good thing about having two people who know how to purge help you pack up, is that they help you feel confident in getting rid of things.

Do not pack up with a hoarder.  Or all by yourself if you are a hoarder.  Have people who throw things out with you.

Karen helped me feel good about throwing out posters.  I took pictures of them so I could reference them if I needed to make them again next year.  I will remake Stop and Jot.  I loooove Stop and Jot.  Also, she and I were able to discuss certain items I had that I really hadn't used, or wasn't using in a way I felt good about.  So four large bulky items left my room today, never to return.  Three of them were paper sort of holders for Writer's Workshop.  

I still have not found a way that pleases me to dispense writing materials.  I'm going to have to really meditate on that.

And my daughter came with me too.  She tested out an entire box of markers.  I told her to throw out anything that I wouldn't think were perfect.  She knows me.  She trashed a lot of them. She is loving Ruby.  Here they are looking at Pinterest together- except that Ruby is so chill, she falls asleep constantly.

We had good mommy/daughter time today.  Except, my heart is heavy.  She told me today she thinks she's ugly because she is skinny. Apparently all of the kids at school constantly comment about how small framed she is.  She cried a lot in the car.  I can tell her she's beautiful and a healthy weight until the cows come home.  But will she listen?  Will what I told her be more important to her than what her friends are saying? my poor baby girl.

But then I came home, she went to spend the night at her Dad's, and I played with my little man here.

I learned about how Monsters roar before they eat broccoli.  And how I should not buy a snake because he would not be able to concentrate on his project if I did.  I'm not sure which is more ridiculous- that he thinks I would buy a snake or that he thinks he has a project he needs to concentrate on. Kid, I want to see this project.  Mommy is frightened. And that's my week.  In a picture-ific nutshell.  How about you, Kitten?